How Pep Guardiola almost quit Man City - plus the full extent of his blazing row with Raheem Sterling, as told in an exclusive extract from a new book by his close confidant

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In the first of our exclusive extracts from a new book on Pep Guardiola's Etihad reign, Marti Perarnau, confidant to the world's best coach, explains how season one took a toll on the Catalan, and lifts the lid on his Sterling row and the team talk that led to glory.

Horror Start

October 29, 2016

Pep Guardiola is suffering a crisis of confidence after a run of six games without a win as Manchester City's new manager — and it will only get worse during a torrid first season in charge… 

Pep's very troubled. All his coaching staff are feeling it, too. There's a real sense of foreboding. The last few results have brought them to a crisis point and Pep has even begun to be concerned about his job security. Six tough, punishing games without a win.

An inauspicious 3-3 draw at Celtic, losing away to Spurs and then another galling draw, at home to Everton. After a lacerating 4-0 defeat by Barcelona at the Nou Camp, they had scraped another draw at home to Southampton and had humiliatingly been eliminated from the League Cup by Manchester United.

Six matches. It's unprecedented for Guardiola. A superb victory at West Brom has staunched the bleeding but there's another massive test looming. In just 72 hours, Barcelona will be in Manchester for the return game in the Champions League group clash.

Pep Guardiola felt troubled during his opening months as Man City boss in 2016

Pep Guardiola felt troubled during his opening months as Man City boss in 2016

Pep Guardiola felt troubled during his opening months as Man City boss in 2016

He began to feel nervous about the security of his job - it would have been his first-ever sacking as a manager

He began to feel nervous about the security of his job - it would have been his first-ever sacking as a manager

A win over Barcelona in the Champions League, however, helped ease pressure in what was a make or break game

A win over Barcelona in the Champions League, however, helped ease pressure in what was a make or break game

Pep's extremely worried. He's concerned the club might sack him if his team lose badly to Barcelona. It would be his first dismissal. Ever. I've never seen Pep in such a tight spot before.

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An all-or-nothing clash. The coach instinctively believes that another defeat could mean the end of his role in the City project. But, typically, the fact it's make or break seems to give the team wings and they beat Barcelona 3–1 despite their opponents' magnificent attacking trident of Messi, Neymar and Suarez.

Still, it's a brutal test for Guardiola's men. Pep's still very uptight. He's got that same knot of anxiety in his stomach he's had since the draw in Glasgow but at least he no longer feels there's a noose around his neck. He can breathe again.

The penultimate group game, at Borussia Monchengladbach, is just around the corner. City will get the draw they need to go through. Pep will be able to stop worrying and start sleeping again. Or so he thinks. 'These past few months have been a complete nightmare. I've been a nervous wreck,' Pep says. His face is expressionless.

As if almost gagging, his hand to his chest, the words rush out. 'It's been total torture ever since Glasgow.'

It's only then, having got it out, that he picks up his wine glass. He's liberated the demons that have harried him since September, and the start of the Champions League group phase. Nerves and worry initially; anguish and torture as the weeks passed. Two months haunted by a level of anxiety that no one except his family was properly aware of. A gnawing feeling of disquiet that made him sick to the stomach.

They've only managed a draw but, right now, on this cold November night in Germany, it's a huge relief for Pep. They're into the last eight. In the eyes of the world, it's probably no big deal. The very least they'd expect of Guardiola's Manchester City. But Pep knows different. His team are coming apart at the seams.

Their defence is a disaster. His midfield isn't functioning with the harmony the coach envisaged. Up front, Pep hasn't yet found the ideal partner for Sergio Aguero — the only player he currently considers 'untouchable'.

Despite reaching the last eight of the Champions League, Guardiola found that his midfield was not functioning, and he had not yet found a solution up front

Despite reaching the last eight of the Champions League, Guardiola found that his midfield was not functioning, and he had not yet found a solution up front

At dinner later, in Dusseldorf's Melia Hotel, flanked by assistants Domenec Torrent and Mikel Arteta, Guardiola explains he won't be able to solve the team's problems in the short term. Having only been permitted to renew 50 per cent of the squad last summer, it's been impossible to compensate for the structural faults solely with tactical solutions.

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'Thank goodness a draw is enough to get us through. We've lost fluidity, we aren't bold enough when we bring the ball out, it's like we don't dare to really play… my players only really go all out when they're losing! Then they become the kind of ballsy team we had in Bayern! They pull out all the stops, create lots of chances and produce great football.

'But when they become too risk-averse, it's very difficult and they look stiff and wooden. It's going to be tough to find a balance between maintaining control and playing ballsy, daring football. But at least we're guaranteed two Champions League games in February.'

Pep's first Christmas in Manchester has been bleak and miserable. The kind of Christmas you don't forget. In December, they've lost to Chelsea at home (3-1), been held to a draw by Celtic (1–1) and allowed Leicester to tear them to pieces (4–2). They've handed Liverpool a New Year's Eve win at Anfield (1–0), and taken a beating from Everton (4–0). It's a nightmare.

Pep's on his knees. So are the team. Right now it feels like they're wading through mud. Their coach is struggling under the weight of all the defeats and his players are beginning to understand what Marcelo Bielsa meant when he said: 'Defeat gives you a bad odour.'

The stink seems to have seeped into every corner of the dressing room and Pep's even considering giving up. Leaving it all behind. Every defeat chips away at his determination to continue as City's coach.

The pundits are scathing in their criticism. They want him gone. 'Go home,' is the message. And it's repeated ad nauseam.

City are lying fifth in the league, 10 points behind leaders Chelsea. For the first time in his coaching career, a Pep team are out of contention for the title at this early stage of the season

Things failed to get better around Christmas and the new year, however, with a number of sour results for his side

Things failed to get better around Christmas and the new year, however, with a number of sour results for his side

Guardiola was considering giving up, and said it was 'the beginning of the end' of his career

Guardiola was considering giving up, and said it was 'the beginning of the end' of his career

At the start of the year he tells me, a little sarcastically but also as if he's deadly serious: 'It's the beginning of the end of my career.' He's only been coaching for seven and a half years but already he's considering calling it a day.

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Just thinking about where he goes from here brings to mind something (former manager) Juanma Lillo said to him a few months ago: 'Pep, you need to lose a lot more games before you can be sure that you genuinely want to be a coach.'

It was March 2016 and the two men were having coffee just a few hours after Bayern had eliminated Juventus from the Champions League after an agonisingly hard-fought game in which the Munich side were themselves a minute away from being knocked out. Lillo was keen to temper Pep's euphoria by warning him of the harsh reality of life as a football coach.

Only nine months later, Pep is staring this reality in the face. 'Lillo's not the only one who's said this to me. Domenec has also been telling me that I'll only know how committed I am to this career when I start losing.'

And here in Manchester he's learned all about defeats. They've rained down on him, unrelenting and brutal. He's not used to losing — it only happened in 8.5 per cent of his games with Barcelona and 11.8 per cent with Munich. In Manchester, he's lost 22.5 per cent of his games.

And it hurts. Every loss feels like a dagger to the heart. He's having to learn to live with it, the pain he suffers every time they fail. And yet it seems that this is the best way for him to decide if he really wants to be a coach.

One evening in December, Pep climbs the stairs to Torrent's apartment, a bottle of red wine in hand. The men are neighbours.

Juanma Lillo had told Guardiola that he would only know if he wanted to be a football manager when he started losing

Juanma Lillo had told Guardiola that he would only know if he wanted to be a football manager when he started losing

They, along with other members of City's technical team, live at No 1 Deansgate, a tall building that overlooks the city's main artery. Txiki Begiristain (sporting director) lives in apartment 11, Torrent in 10, with Arteta and Pep at 8 and 9 respectively.

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Domenec opens the bottle and the two sit on his couch together, drinking until the small hours. The two old friends talk about everything but football; their kids and their studies, their parents, health problems. For the first time in years, football is off the agenda.

As the festive season drags on, Pep and Domenec get together for a heart-to-heart whenever possible. A bottle of red and put the world to rights. And, somehow, that's all it takes. No grand declarations or Eureka moments required, Pep begins to shake off the stench of defeat and drag himself out of the mire. There will be more losses and more triumphs, for sure. But Pep's perspective is changing.

He's always placed too much importance on winning, seeing it almost as a moral imperative, as if the world were judging him solely in terms of his successes and failures.

Weeks later, Pep's back on form, full of energy and brimming with optimism. He's banished all those thoughts of throwing in the towel.

'You know, losing used to equal disaster for me. Although I suppose I shouldn't use the past tense because I'm still crushed every time we lose,' he says.

'It's like something just clicks in my head. Defeat is not something I'm used to. But it's part of the process, a normal part of sport. Intellectually I accept it completely but, deep down, it's still very hard to stomach…'

Weeks later, Guardiola was back to his usual self, seemingly more accepting of the presence of defeat

Weeks later, Guardiola was back to his usual self, seemingly more accepting of the presence of defeat

Raheem Sterling row

March 10, 2021

City are cantering to Guardiola's third league title, with one defeat in 20 matches, but the boss isn't happy and frustrations boil over with one of the club's biggest stars — a player he faces at Stamford Bridge this Sunday.

Pep and Raheem Sterling are having words in the manager's office. Then Sterling's heading out the door with Pep shouting after him, demanding that the player comes back. He isn't finished yet.

No one else has witnessed their argument and Pep's not sharing: 'It was a private conversation between me and the player.' But they've all heard the raised voices and later piece together what's just happened. Sterling's dropped. He'll be on the bench tonight against Southampton.

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Everyone's taken aback. Guardiola makes a point of never justifying his choice of line-up. To anyone. And now he's done just that with Sterling.

Today's run-in has been on the cards for a couple of weeks, ever since Sterling demanded an explanation for his absence from a particular team sheet. Now Pep's decided to spell out exactly why the Englishman won't be starting: the team's finishing isn't good enough and, after spending weeks tinkering with his attacking line, this is his solution.

None of which has gone down well with Sterling, who's stormed out of the office twice, only to be called back in again. Then, after several more furious exchanges, a clearly livid Sterling exits, leaving Pep sitting alone in his office. With the lights out. Simmering with rage.

It's the kind of call coaches have to make all the time. But Sterling doesn't see it that way. The player seems to consider himself a guaranteed starter and, so I'm told, has also objected to the way Pep's been talking up Kevin De Bruyne and Bernardo Silva.

The bust-up has affected the whole team. Pre-match, Pep's still furious and he delivers a rambling team talk. Sterling's in attendance but spends the entire game on the bench.

Fortunately, City win 5-2.

But Sterling isn't in the squad for City's next game, at Craven Cottage. Pep's clearly taking a strong stand.

In 2021, Guardiola clashed with Raheem Sterling (left) after dropping the England man

In 2021, Guardiola clashed with Raheem Sterling (left) after dropping the England man

Sterling then wasn't in the squad for the next game, with Guardiola taking a strong stand

Whispering Pep talk

Final day of the season, May 22, 2022

Needing to match Liverpool's result against Wolves, City trail Aston Villa and are on the verge of giving up the 2021-22 title. Then a Guardiola team talk and Raheem Sterling, a year on from his bust-up with the coach, and fellow substitute Oleksandr Zinchenko help spark a comeback from 2-0 down as City claim the crown. Both players would leave the club weeks later. 

We're in the red zone — disaster threatens. Red for danger, red for Liverpool. Red mist for Pep. Because this would count as one of the worst 45 minutes of City's season.

The dressing room is funereal at half-time. There's not a huge level of belief. Those who are expecting a big, tempestuous row from Guardiola are pleasantly surprised — it's quite the opposite. He's not quite whispering, but not far off. 

'We are definitely going to do this — OK lads? I know it's impossible not to think of the consequences of not pulling this off, that's completely normal. But we have to be positive right to the final seconds. We only need one goal and, as soon as we get that, we'll settle, we'll have momentum and we'll score the second — I know it.

An inspired Pep talk from the City boss helped his side to a final day Premier League title win in 2022

An inspired Pep talk from the City boss helped his side to a final day Premier League title win in 2022

'I know precisely how you all feel. I feel the vertigo effects of pressure. But we wouldn't be in this situation, on the verge of being champions, if we hadn't been the best team in England all season. I know we'll go out there and play to win but I want it established in all our minds before we do. That's where the challenge lies — in the mind.

'We'll go out, believing, we'll play aggressively. Show your quality. OK? Let's go!'

The Pep Revolution by Marti Perarnau (Ebury Spotlight, £22) is out on Thursday. © Marti Perarnau 2024. To order a copy for £19.80 go to www.mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937.

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